That the next generation might know. Psalm 78:6
Article From Joe White...
Being a parent is . . . . well, it's . . . it's . . . it's an irrepressible flow of superlatives.
It's incomparable.
It's life's highest privilege.
It's nuts!
It's hard. It's wonderful. It's tough. It's indescribably fulfilling. It's challenging like no job in the world!
I receive dozens and dozens of emails from parents who are asking serious questions about the tough times . . . the really tough times of elementary school, pre-adolescence and adolescence. One statement from Matthew 5 and James 5 screams out to us as parents as we seek to keep the ship afloat and bring it safely and victoriously to the shore.
Let your yes, be yes!
My job as a parent is to be a PARENT. That means I make tough decisions when I know what's best for my kids. I wasn't always popular with my kids (I wasn't running for public office!). I wanted my kids to have strong core values and strong Christian character above everything else. I've counseled too many young, wrecked lives who missed it.
You may have heard me tell the story of the time my daughters were in 5th and 7th grade and being young and naïve, I was about to break my arm patting myself on the back for my early performance as a dad. (Right!) As Jamie, Courtney and I drove to town, I said, "Hasn't this been a super year for us?" (Pre-adolescent silence chilled the air.) Again, being very young and naïve, I rephrased the question. Both girls stared directly ahead like there was a ghost driving our car. Finally, my super honest (and sometimes blunt) second daughter blurted out, "Dad, Jamie doesn't like you very much."
"Hmmmm, really?" I replied (covering my hurt).
Jamie spoke up. "I haven't liked you since November." (It was March.)
"Why is that?" I stammered.
"Well, my friends get to see any movie they want and I don't. My friends go to parties, my friends pierce their bodies, my friends have boyfriends, yada, yada, yada. You don't let me!"
"Well," I said as I rearranged my wounded emotions, "that hurts my feelings, but my job is not to be your friend. My job is to be your DAD. I want to be your friend, but my job is to be your dad. If you don't like me until you're 23, that's OK. But some day when you're standing in the back of a beautiful church putting on your white veil of purity and you walk out to take my arm so I can walk you down the aisle without shame to put your arm in the arm of the man you'll love for a lifetime, that's when I want you to say, "I like my dad."
Ten years later we took that bridal walk together. I wept as we walked together down the aisle, because we had done it together and she wasn't ashamed. Thanks mostly to her mom, what a blessing that girl is to me!
I definitely wasn't a super dad, and I lost a lot of short-term popularity contests along the way, but I helped her go through tight passage ways by being a "YES guy" when it was right and a "NO guy" when it was wrong.
Even for my kids, who struggled through public school, kamp got them through those tough years more than any other single thing we did for them, and that's why I love what I do so much. Today, thanks be to God, they love God, love their spouses, and parent their kids through the Word of God.
Before I traveled to Colorado Springs to do a broadcast on parenting with Dr. Dobson on Focus on the Family, I interviewed 12 teens who had "blown out of their homes" and were spending a year or two in a residential care facility. I asked the troubled teens, "What should I tell America's moms and dads that you have learned the hard way in your quaking home?"
One bold teenage boy spoke up and others chimed in. "Tell parents to follow through (even when we don't act like we like it.) Tell them to stick to it. Don't be wishy-washy. Don't let us talk our way out of things."
Proverbs appropriately proclaims, "A child who gets his way will bring shame to his mother." (Proverbs 29:15)
I am glad God warned me, because I really, really, really wanted to pamper my kids. I wanted to be the "good guy". (And, yes, most of the time, that was good.) BUT . . . when there is a tough call to make, stand tall and call it right.
General Schwartzkof made a great speech at our local college after the Gulf War. He spoke for almost an hour . . . then he paused . . . cleared his throat . . . and said, "Forget everything I just told you, but don't ever forget two things.
1) "When you are asked to lead, take charge."
2) "Always do what is right."
Regarding peers, entertainment, media, social decisions, and spiritual and moral growth decisions in today's non-moral friendly climate, parents know best!
When my oldest son was 14 or 15, I asked him what he liked best about his mom. Without blinking he said, "She's firm." (Notice, she didn't say she was mean.) But he spoke accurately of my Proverbs 31 bride when he appreciated her strength of character and her willingness to insist that her children respect her position.)
When "everybody's doing it" and there's a tough call to make, don't be afraid to step up to the plate and call balls and strikes. You will be glad in the long run . . . and most importantly, your kids will one day rise up and call you blessed if you do.
BALANCE - the power of "AF"
A dad who's firm better know how to AFFIRM better than anyone if he wants his kids' hearts to understand love. Kids across our nation are starving for dads who hug, who encourage, whose vocabulary is filled with "Atta boy's," "I'm proud of you's," "Way to go's," "Super job's," and "Wow's!" Affirming dads are the best!!! The head coach I coached with at Texas A&M told me his favorite year of coaching was one year with the Dallas Cowboys when he went to the playoffs with twelve rookies on the team. He said the entire coaching staff made it their absolute goal to encourage the players in everything they did! Men, if it works on 325 pound giants, imagine how a twelve-year-old boy will respond.
Partnering for better kids,
Joe White
It's incomparable.
It's life's highest privilege.
It's nuts!
It's hard. It's wonderful. It's tough. It's indescribably fulfilling. It's challenging like no job in the world!
I receive dozens and dozens of emails from parents who are asking serious questions about the tough times . . . the really tough times of elementary school, pre-adolescence and adolescence. One statement from Matthew 5 and James 5 screams out to us as parents as we seek to keep the ship afloat and bring it safely and victoriously to the shore.
Let your yes, be yes!
My job as a parent is to be a PARENT. That means I make tough decisions when I know what's best for my kids. I wasn't always popular with my kids (I wasn't running for public office!). I wanted my kids to have strong core values and strong Christian character above everything else. I've counseled too many young, wrecked lives who missed it.
You may have heard me tell the story of the time my daughters were in 5th and 7th grade and being young and naïve, I was about to break my arm patting myself on the back for my early performance as a dad. (Right!) As Jamie, Courtney and I drove to town, I said, "Hasn't this been a super year for us?" (Pre-adolescent silence chilled the air.) Again, being very young and naïve, I rephrased the question. Both girls stared directly ahead like there was a ghost driving our car. Finally, my super honest (and sometimes blunt) second daughter blurted out, "Dad, Jamie doesn't like you very much."
"Hmmmm, really?" I replied (covering my hurt).
Jamie spoke up. "I haven't liked you since November." (It was March.)
"Why is that?" I stammered.
"Well, my friends get to see any movie they want and I don't. My friends go to parties, my friends pierce their bodies, my friends have boyfriends, yada, yada, yada. You don't let me!"
"Well," I said as I rearranged my wounded emotions, "that hurts my feelings, but my job is not to be your friend. My job is to be your DAD. I want to be your friend, but my job is to be your dad. If you don't like me until you're 23, that's OK. But some day when you're standing in the back of a beautiful church putting on your white veil of purity and you walk out to take my arm so I can walk you down the aisle without shame to put your arm in the arm of the man you'll love for a lifetime, that's when I want you to say, "I like my dad."
Ten years later we took that bridal walk together. I wept as we walked together down the aisle, because we had done it together and she wasn't ashamed. Thanks mostly to her mom, what a blessing that girl is to me!
I definitely wasn't a super dad, and I lost a lot of short-term popularity contests along the way, but I helped her go through tight passage ways by being a "YES guy" when it was right and a "NO guy" when it was wrong.
Even for my kids, who struggled through public school, kamp got them through those tough years more than any other single thing we did for them, and that's why I love what I do so much. Today, thanks be to God, they love God, love their spouses, and parent their kids through the Word of God.
Before I traveled to Colorado Springs to do a broadcast on parenting with Dr. Dobson on Focus on the Family, I interviewed 12 teens who had "blown out of their homes" and were spending a year or two in a residential care facility. I asked the troubled teens, "What should I tell America's moms and dads that you have learned the hard way in your quaking home?"
One bold teenage boy spoke up and others chimed in. "Tell parents to follow through (even when we don't act like we like it.) Tell them to stick to it. Don't be wishy-washy. Don't let us talk our way out of things."
Proverbs appropriately proclaims, "A child who gets his way will bring shame to his mother." (Proverbs 29:15)
I am glad God warned me, because I really, really, really wanted to pamper my kids. I wanted to be the "good guy". (And, yes, most of the time, that was good.) BUT . . . when there is a tough call to make, stand tall and call it right.
General Schwartzkof made a great speech at our local college after the Gulf War. He spoke for almost an hour . . . then he paused . . . cleared his throat . . . and said, "Forget everything I just told you, but don't ever forget two things.
1) "When you are asked to lead, take charge."
2) "Always do what is right."
Regarding peers, entertainment, media, social decisions, and spiritual and moral growth decisions in today's non-moral friendly climate, parents know best!
When my oldest son was 14 or 15, I asked him what he liked best about his mom. Without blinking he said, "She's firm." (Notice, she didn't say she was mean.) But he spoke accurately of my Proverbs 31 bride when he appreciated her strength of character and her willingness to insist that her children respect her position.)
When "everybody's doing it" and there's a tough call to make, don't be afraid to step up to the plate and call balls and strikes. You will be glad in the long run . . . and most importantly, your kids will one day rise up and call you blessed if you do.
BALANCE - the power of "AF"
A dad who's firm better know how to AFFIRM better than anyone if he wants his kids' hearts to understand love. Kids across our nation are starving for dads who hug, who encourage, whose vocabulary is filled with "Atta boy's," "I'm proud of you's," "Way to go's," "Super job's," and "Wow's!" Affirming dads are the best!!! The head coach I coached with at Texas A&M told me his favorite year of coaching was one year with the Dallas Cowboys when he went to the playoffs with twelve rookies on the team. He said the entire coaching staff made it their absolute goal to encourage the players in everything they did! Men, if it works on 325 pound giants, imagine how a twelve-year-old boy will respond.
Partnering for better kids,
Joe White
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