We have all read stats on the fatherless society and its negative effects.
In a sad
article I came across today it seems more is on the way.
"Becoming a father is supposed to be one of the happiest times of a man's life. And until now, they haven't dared say otherwise. A new genre of confessional literature is breaking the taboo, revealing that many men feel demoralised, depressed or just plain bored when their partner has a baby. Such work is raising awareness that post-natal depression can hit men as well as women.
But boredom isn't the worst thing that Lewis felt: "The worst feeling was hatred. I distinctly remember standing on a balcony with her squawking in my arms and wondering what I would do if it wasn't against the law to hurl her off it. A month after Quinn was born, I would have felt only an obligatory sadness if she had been rolled over by a truck. Six months or so later I'd have thrown myself in front of the truck to save her from harm. What happened? What transformed me from a monster into a father?"
Maybe that's true for some men. But it's also true of some women. I know a physical therapist who sometimes takes on extra work as a 'parenting coach.' I asked her what that meant. She said that she would show parents -- usually mothers -- how to play with their kids. Tickling their tummies while changing a diaper, for example. When I told my friend I was surprised that a parent would need that kind of coaching, she said that I shouldn't be. Lots of parents, even women, did not have any idea what to do with a child.
I remember very clearly the first time I held my sons. It was amazing, almost indescribable, especially my oldest, since I had never before experienced the feeling of holding my own child. I hope I never forget what it was like to look into his little face, his little hands ... I didn't need to learn how to feel that way. I just did. But I don't think that makes me a better person than someone who looks at their newborn and thinks, "Ew. Slimy." People are different, not just men and women."
I certainly hope and pray that the Church can hold forth a clear message on family, marriage, and parenting that inspires men and women to embrace these great gifts from the Lord.
You need to be a member of Lasting Divergence to add comments!
Join this social network